Some people will never be sorry: for the way the hurt you, for the way they made you feel or for the things they’ve done or said. You may wonder, “How can they look at themselves?” or “How can they do that to someone?” But all the thinking and pondering and wondering won’t get you anywhere, trust me. My friends and I have tried this. We’ll stay up some nights and just wonder, why? How could someone lie like that? How could they use me and play me? How could someone be so naive? And sometimes we’ll be able to come to rational conclusions. Oh, they’re just immature. They’re young. They’re foolish. They don’t know what they want, they don’t know who they are; because rationalizing gives closure. It helps patch up the marks and scars that people have left behind. It reminds us that there is still hope, there is humanity. We are humans who make mistakes and maybe there’s hope for said person; but sometimes there are no conclusions. Sometimes there isn’t that closure where you can rationalize why someone treated you badly. And sometimes there really isn’t any good reason. That is the tendency of human nature sometimes. Some people are selfish beyond the point of it being healthy. Some people are cruel, hateful, sick. You may question these people’s existence and for their purpose here on earth. Why must such, things, exist? The questions may seem endless and at some points, overwhelming. It can become an exhausting circle of sadness, disparity, and hatred. What I have learned is: you must find a way out of this circle.
You can become eaten alive by the what-ifs and the how-comes just the same way you can become eaten alive by your emotions. Anger is a brick that will drag you down under water. You will become blinded by the waves and you will be eaten alive by your own suffocation of this madness. There is no real way to overcome anger, sadness, and even depression other than facing it head on. You must reach down and untie yourself from the brick of rock hard emotion you may find yourself in. You must release yourself from your own stubbornness and open your lungs to air. For once you are free from the weight of these emotions it is only then that you can swim. And with many things in life, you are the only person that can do this for you. You can’t ride on the backs of your friend’s and family’s reassurances for forever. Sometimes you must confront demons head on and accept what has been, and what will be. Anger, sadness, and depression aren’t forever feelings. You can overcome them, the first step being to choose to do so.
Think about the times where and when you have felt or feel no remorse or regret for things you have said about or done to someone. No one wants to actually look at the ugly side of themselves, but sometimes we must to confront our innermost demons. You must understand your own human-nature as a whole before you can fully understand others; and in some ways this can never be fully accomplished. We will never be able to fully grasp every thought and action of others; but by confronting yourself first you will be better tasked at understanding someone else’s actions and/or mindset. And this sets you up for the greatest challenge many human beings face: forgiveness.
I am no expert on forgiveness. There are a few people out there who I will never be able to forgive – mainly out of stubbornness, but also out of anger and frustration. But once you can look past these emotions, life can become a little easier. Ignoring these emotions isn’t the solution, but a mere bandage. Sometimes a bandage is all we need to get through the day, though. The week. The next month, or even the next year. As human beings, we wrap ourselves and the people we care about in bandages. We want to shield them from every painful experience possible – but as emotional-bombs with brains, shielding people from the judgment and harshness of others is completely impossible. Not everyone is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, but that doesn’t mean you need to let that define you. You can shed that anger, that pain, and you can grow. One day, you will no longer need to hide behind the bandages that once held you together, but yet you will glow from the scars that will make you who you are. It is your choice, though. Everyone has a choice. You can choose to grow and learn and become a better and bigger person from the demons of your past, or you can let them tear you down. As someone who knows what it’s like to be torn about from within, I can tell you this: don’t let the problems and frustrations of others tear you down.
People will hurt you in this life. I think that’s a John Green quote or something – but it’s true. People are going to hurt you; and sometimes, they won’t feel a damn pain about it. They’ll look at you, and won’t see the pain they have caused or, nor will they care. These people will have to face up to their own demons one day, because I guarantee you they are facing their own, personal problems. Reality will hit them hard when they are left alone, with no one to pick them back up because they have pushed away everyone and anyone that could have helped them. But you have a chance. You can fight and survive and thrive. Take your pain and use it. Use it to push you through the next day, and especially to push through whatever struggle you face next, because at least you know now that you can make it through whatever hurdle life throws at you next.
Be strong and courageous. Some people will never be sorry for the way they hurt you, but you can make them sorry for not having the remorse to be. And that’s okay too.