Owning Your Sexiness: Confidence

We are experiencing a revolution. The revolution of sexy. It is now ancient history when women were scolded for showing their ankles or wrists – in fact it now seems like ancient history when women were scolded for showing their belly buttons or too much leg. Know what also needs to be history? Scolding women for embracing their sexiness and owning up to it. EVERYONE has sex appeal; and no, that is not something that should be looked down upon. If I, or any other woman, wants to wear clothing that shows off our curves, that embraces how we were created, why shouldn’t we? I vote yes to belly buttons and yes to leg. I vote yes to sexy.

Many women ask though: How do I feel sexy without the negative connotation attached to it? Well, the answer is actually very simple: Confidence.

So I guess the question is, what is confidence?

Confidence is owning your sexiness. It’s that feeling you get when you walk down the sidewalk and feel like you could take on the world. It’s standing tall and owning it, it’s being relaxed and comfortable in your own skin. It’s loving yourself, and knowing that you’re capable of doing anything you want. So why shouldn’t what you wear express how you feel on the inside? I mean, personally, I am a strong believer that the way people dress themselves is a reflection on how they feel.

So how do you want to achieve this feeling of sexiness, this level of confidence?

Science has proven that there is a direct link between what we wear and how we’re feeling. In a study which was published on the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology‘s website , when subjects were given white “doctors” coats to wear during testing they actually scored better than people in normal “street” clothing. So, even on the days you’re feeling down, put on clothes that makes you feel good. You know what I’m talking about. We all have those favorite blouses and  that favorite pair of jeans. We have pieces of clothing we associate with better feelings, happy feelings, over clothing that we associate with shitty feelings. Getting into the habit of recognizing these specific pieces of clothing will help you formulate better outfit decisions, and is a way to predict your mood before starting your day.

Don’t forget about situational variables.

When I say “embrace your sexiness”, I don’t mean wearing a body con dress when meeting your boyfriend’s parents for the first time, or to a job interview. What I mean is: dress for the occasion. When you look at outfits in your closet, it’s not that hard to dictate for what occasion each piece can be worn to. All because you can’t wear that sexy skirt to a job interview, doesn’t mean you can’t have confidence, though. I suggest investing in a nice, form-fitting suit and a few cute blouses for those occasions where dressing conservatively is important. Save the booty shorts for a day at the mall or to a music fest – not to a company meeting. Feeling out-of-place can lower ones self-esteem and make you feel less inclined to put yourself out there. So always remember to dress for the occasion. You will feel a lot more confident in the end, trust me.

And yes, sexy does take on many forms.

Sexy could be wearing those 4 inch heels to dinner with your friends, or wearing that body con dress to the bar. Sexy could be having your hair straightened, or having your hair curled. Sexy could be those booty-loving high-waisted shorts, or a pair of nicely fitting jeans. It could be wearing a dress or a suit. What matters is how you feel. Sexiness is Confidence. Always keep that in mind. You are the ultimate judge on how you look and feel; and always remember to be the best version of yourself. Before going out, ask yourself what you would put on after laughing to your favorite comedy movie – what would you put on during your most happy state of mind? That’s the key. Owning your sexiness is obtained once you own your confidence. So own it, girl. We, as women, have a right to be sexy. Whatever that means to you, is up to you. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. In the words of Taylor Swift “Haters gonna hate”. So why not do you? Who runs the world? Girls. Thanks Beyoncé.


For more info on the correlation between what you wear and your mood, check out these links:





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